Who versus Whom

This is similar to the “me” and “I” question, and the trick to figuring it out is also similar. Many people use “whom” when they should use “who” because they think it sounds more formal. Be warned here – using “whom” even correctly can begin to sound pretentious. Just keep that in mind as a friendly reminder. So, here we go…

Who should I send this letter to?
Whom should I send this letter to?

If you can answer him, her or them then it’s “whom.” If you can answer he, she or they then it’s “who.” In the above example the correct word is “whom.” If you wanted to be a real stickler about it the correct question would be “to whom should I send this letter?” since we aren’t supposed to end a sentence with a preposition. In many cases, though, I think that’s ridiculous.

Who is going to the party?
Whom is going to the party?

The answer to this would be “she is going to the party” so the question should be “who is going to the party.” Make sense? Similar to the “Me versus I” post, this is a case of object and subject pronouns. Who is a subject pronoun; it is used as the subject of a verb. Whom is an object pronoun; it is used as the object of a verb.

Here is one more example to help you in the instance where it isn’t really a question:

Jack talked to Bill about whom he would take to the party. Jack talked about taking her to the party.

I would say, though, when in doubt go with “who." It will sound more appropriate than “whom” if you use it incorrectly. Nobody should give you a hard time for using "who" when you should use "whom." In most instances it sounds just fine.

That should do it for the “who” or “whom” question.